Thursday, July 7, 2011

Not having the best day

Firstly I'm tired.  I've been getting up between 4 and 5 am every morning, after having gone to bed around midnight, in order to bring the pup out since sunday.  I feel drained and the husband wouldn't let me sleep.  Last night was the worst because he woke up when I came back in with the dog and he didn't get back to sleep well after that.  He's the kind of person that if he's not sleeping, you're not sleeping.  He got up in the morning and let the dog out and got the boys ready for the day and school but then kept coming in the room every 10 mins to ask a stupid question or look for something or try and lay back down with me, so I'm tired.

After having a stellar day and night yesterday the pup had a set back today.  I've been taking him out whenever he looked like he was anxious or pawing at the door, basically every 60-90 mins, and even had him in the fenced yard with the boys when I made dinner and of course as soon as I had all my boys and my pets eating he went into his crate and made a mess.  I don't know why I took it personally but it put me immediately in a bad mood and I feel like a complete failure because I couldn't manage the boys, the meal, and the dog.  For a few hours I felt like I made a huge mistake in getting the dog, because I knew going into this that with my husband's work schedule a lot of this would fall on me.  Its why I wanted to get an older dog.  I've never potty trained a dog before, and it was a nightmare with my boys.  I don't know what I'm doing.   I've read tons of books and articles and watched how to videos but I feel like an idiot because I'm failing at this.  My husband hasn't been lucky enough to have to clean up after the dog so he doesn't share my frustration.  He's also the only one of us with experience in potty training puppies and he's never home.  Have I lost my mind in signing on for this?

I haven't had nearly enough to drink today and now I've got an upset stomach and a headache.  I didn't make the greatest dinner from a dieting stand point, but I needed to make something I could finish in as short a period as possible.  I made macaroni and cheese, not the box stuff, homemade but still not the greatest food choice.  I used a lot of low fat and healthier ingredients but still mac and cheese isn't smart, but it tasted really good.  I was trying to comfort myself with food and now I'm in the self-hating regret stage of it all. 

On top of everything I can't seem to work the whole blogger thing, I can't comment on the blogs I follow and it keeps randomly signing me out when I'm reading.  I have been reading all of your blogs and countless times I've wanted to say something to you guys and rarely does it work at all.  What the heck am I doing wrong?  That seems to be the question I've been asking myself about everything lately, maybe that should have been the title of this blog.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Moving on

So we had to adjust to all the things that are going on, and have been sort of.  My husband is trying to get all his paper work changed so that he'll be able to re-apply for his school in January.  Maybe by then the army will be willing to let him go.
My grandmother is doing much better.  She's healing from her surgery and her latest testing came back negative for cancer so for now she won't have to go through chemo or radiation.    She's scared but hopeful, I really wish I could be closer to be of more help. 
The construction crew has begun working on the other homes in our row so we are thinking we'll be getting a call soon to move so I've been going through things and cleaning under furniture while we wait.

We also did something kind of impulsive over the weekend. We had been talking about getting a dog for the past year, we;d been looking at breeds we thought would be good for the family and weighing the costs of getting a puppy versus trying to rescue again. We had a really bad experience with a rescue in the past, she was a good dog, she just didn't fit with our family because she wasn't safe around children and was nervous around strange people which is a problem for military life because there are always people around. We have a cat we rescued along with his brother whom lives with my mom, so we figured it would be okay to buy a puppy. We have been looking at breeders online but found out that a few puppy stores were near by and on a whim went to have a look. The first place smelled aweful and was tiny and full to the brim with over-priced puppies but there was a few we would have taken a second look at. The second store seemed even less promising until we walked in and saw
This is Duncan our five month old rough collie!

We had been talking about getting a collie but couldn't really find a breeder close to where we live or for a reasonable price.  We took one look at him and knew we were going home with him and luckily he was on sale due to his age and lack of interest in this area for his breed.  I only feel badly that we had to leave his brother behind.  We felt silly for a few hours but as soon as we had him home and he adjusted we realized he was the missing piece to our family.  He's so sweet and smart and well behaved.  He wasn't potty trained at all when we got him and he's already learned to try his best to go outside.  We've only had two accidents since he's been home and for some reason he only goes in his crate so its easy to clean.  We only got the crate because he had been living in a small space at the store, about 4 by 8 and we thought he'd be more comfortable sleeping there, plus we thought it would be safer introducing him to the cat that way.  Turns out he's the one that needed to be protected from the cat and the crate is a safe place for him to sleep!
I've been walking him for the most part, and getting up in the wee hours to take him out which is good for exercise.  Especially because with all the stress I've been under lately I've managed to gain ten pounds.  I haven't been getting enough exercise and I haven't been eating on a good schedule because of the heat, plus we've been getting a lot of convenience stuff because its just too hot to cook.  I know with the puppy I'll be getting more exercise so I need to buckle down and do the work emotionally and with my eating.  I like my walks with the pup, he'd never been on a leash and we were worried, but he took to it in no time and doesn't pull and will walk right beside me looking up to me for cues.  We walk all over post and he doesn't try to chase after things or jump on other people or dogs.  We've introduced him to the other pups on our street and he's making friends already.  Can you tell how happy I am with him!!!