Thursday, November 17, 2011

Has it really been two months

Has it really been two months, I guess it really has.  Well today is my 26th birthday so I thought it was as good a time as any for a post.  I've been terribly busy the last couple of months, especially since the first of November because its National Novel Writing Month and I have been busy trying to stay on track and get my number of words up when I've had a few free hours.  I'm nearly halfway to 50,000 but I need to get there before the thanksgiving because time after that flys by. 

Our niece was born early last month and it was touch and go for awhile, we were on the phone daily ready to drive up there at a moments notice if need be but she's doing much better now and will hopefully be going home soon.  We'll be heading home for thanksgiving this year and our hope if that we'll be able to spend some time with her and our cousin's baby who was also born healthy last month.  I'm just excited to see babies, its been a while since I've gotten to snuggle a baby and these little girls are so precious.

I did a full six weeks as a pretty strict vegan, an other then the initial 12 pounds or so nothing else came off and I was starting to feel sickly and weak all the time.  SO after a few days of wanting to die I slowly added some meat back into my diet.  White meat only and not everyday.  The taste of beef makes me want to be sick so I may never be able to eat that again, its been three months since any sort of cow meat has passed my lips and its hard to even cook it for my boys.  I can do dairy in small amounts but my stomach doesn't like it much and for some reason my system doesn't tolerate anything carbonated at all any more so no soda.

I think something is going on with my thyroid that my endocrinologist isn't getting, I know something is going on and I've been looking into it on my own.  A few times my levels have come back low, but he was more concerned with the possibility of me being diabetic because I am over weight.  Time and time again he's checked my blood sugar levels and they'd been great, smack dab in the middle of the normal range, never once in a place that would send off warning bells but for some reason he's treating me for insulin problems anyway.  So I stopped taking the meds and felt instantly better and then I stopped seeing him.  Now I'm at an impass because if something is wrong with my thyroid I need to see an endocrinologist and he's the one my insurance sends me too. I have to work through that I guess, we'll have to keep making appointments and try to fight this from every angle.

Today for my birthday I went to the school and had lunch with my youngest son, tomorrow I'm going to have lunch with my eldest.  We usually go out for supper but I'm trying to get around that somehow.  With the holidays coming I get really uptight about every penny spent because I want there to be money for the gifts after the bills get paid.  I even asked my husband not to get me a gift, which he them completely ignored, but he did spend a small amount which helped a little with my anxiety about the money.  I stress about everything, all the time.  I seriously need to let some of it go or I'm never going to get this weight off, I'll never get anywhere that way.