Sorry its been so long

Sorry its been such a long time since my last posting, not even sure myself the exact amount of days.  I was sick for about a week and then my eldest son got sick and in between the two we were really busy and it was valentines day I believe.  Being sick did come with a few unexpected joys, because between having a stomach virus and being on medicine that makes it hard to eat I've gotten down to 349(even with now being on my monthly gift) and I've somehow managed to avoid creeping back up the scale in the last week even with my hormones being out of whack and Valentines Day, or the chocolate holiday!

My husband was so happy about my 8 pound weight loss that he joked about getting me sick once a week in order to get the weight off, needless to say he made up for that with really nice valentines gifts.  The day itself was really busy for us here, being a school/work day and having to get groceries(a 40 min round trip drive alone) and having to go to a cub scouts meeting, we ended up having a very nice, very late dinner at home. The hubbie ate most of the chocolate we had around so I didn't get into it, he says he was falling on the sword for me, I tried not to be mad even if it was a gift for me because after two pieces I had a stomach ache.  I made a really nice dinner for the four of us, dressed the table up fancy, took out the nice china and had a good time with my boys, it was a nice night.

I've managed to still walk a lot through being sick and having a sick little boy, but most of the other exercises has been hard to do , I'll get back there though.  Our year old plasma TV died really unexpectedly a few days ago so we haven't been able to use the kinnect or the wii with our fitness games which has been sad.  Mostly I'm just mad because we bought the TV based on it being a consumer best buy, it was the brand new model and we spent 800 dollars, which for us is a heck of a lot of money, and here we are 8 days based the one year warranty on the darned thing having a hard time getting the company to come fix it, it irritates me that you can spend that kind of money with no guarantees, but in the end its just a TV and worse things could happen.  I just wish I could have used that money for something more reliable.

Taking the medicine hasn't gotten any easier, my stomach is a mass of bruising from the puncture marks and tender so it hurts more every day.  The nausea hasn't gotten any better either, its hard to eat when I'm supposed to and drink much water because my stomach hurts all the time.  Its been almost a month but I still hope it gets better, I'm glad I haven't had to increase my dose at all, I don't know that I could have handled it!  I'm trying to have a better attitude about all of this, I'm trying to have a better attitude period.  I've been reading a lot which always puts me in a good mood, I just have to remember to look up every couple of seconds when I'm walking down our road.  The weather here is finally starting to warm up, at least for now, and I can almost see grass in part of my yard.  After the last 8 weeks of weather we've had here, its been really nice. I've enjoyed some of the walking I've done outside!

New Medication and New Diet, Same Lack of Results

I know its only been a week since I started the new medicine, and only four days since I started the new diet but I still can't help but be a little frustrated that the scale hasn't changed.  My husband spent the same four days on the diet and looks lighter, his face even looks thinner and he only has maybe 15 pounds to lose.  I have zero appetite for the last week, have been sticking to a diet that is supposed to guarantee results to everyone, and nothing.  I feel like crap, my leg and stomach hurt from where I stick myself every night.  I'm exhausted from the lack of calories going in and the long days I put in.  And I can't sleep because I have to stick myself before I go to bed and the pain keeps me awake, and makes me feel like a giant baby.

I started this blog to have something positive out there to help me stay motivated and I feel like its to much of my complaints and not enough success's.  I just can't seem to find a better balance.  Not being hungry much of the time has helped stay on this diet, but its made it harder to get enough water in because my stomach starts to hurt from how much more water then food I take in and I have kind of a weak stomach.  SO I'm starting to feel dried out on top of everything else.  I don't know if I can take being on this new medication much longer.  I'm so tired that I haven't been able to swim.  I work out but the shear stamina it takes to keep afloat in a pool you can't touch bottom in for 50 mins scares me a little at this energy level. I'm a strong swimmer but I don't take needless chances and I won't swim when I feel this wiped out. 

I've been reading a lot, I always read a lot but my husbands put in about 80 hrs this week due to the bad weather so I've been on my own a lot, I think its making me even more moody, but for me its hard to tell.  I also found a diary I had started last January(I start one every year, never make it past February)and found it incredibly depressing to be only 3 pounds lighter then I was this time last year.  That and reading over my failures and thoughts and hang ups and realising that not enough has changed since then made me feel like I haven't done anything this past year but become a faster and stronger fat person.

Month One Down, Eleven More to Go

So January has come and gone, and ended on a sour note for me.  With changing my meds the last week and feeling so sick the last few days I wanted mostly to crawl in a hole and die, I'm back up to 357 pounds.  I had gotten to 359 within two days of changing the meds, so I've managed to get down 2 pounds in the last three days but I'm still up 5 from the beginning of the month.  As far as my monthly goals I managed to drink my water every day and that was about it. But February is here now and its time to move forward.

February's goals are:
1.  Weight loss of 25 pounds, hard for a short month but should be doable, I hope.
2.  Continue to drink at least 110 ounces of water daily!
3.  Swim at 44 laps in 50 mins (I hope I can get some pool time this month)
4.  Cycle one and two on the 17 Day Diet

We started the 17 day diet today, so far the meal plan hasn't been too hard, I'm sure the restrictions would have been a lot harder if we hadn't been cleaning up our diets all last month.  There's only a few things we had to cut for the first 17 days so I think I'll be able to handle it.  I;m also trying to add more of a workout to what I do.  My boys are home today from school because of snow again, and may be tomorrow as well, so I've already gotten in a boxing workout  today with my husband before he left for work, and I packed him good snacks and meals for when he's at work so he won't run into trouble.  I'm planning some resistance training and maybe another cardio work out, I can't swim tonight because the pool is closed and husband is working an odd shift.  But hopefully thursday and saturday I can hit the pool. 

Its a new month, I have new goals, a new doctor approved meal plan, and a new medicine.  I have hope that I will see the changes on the scale that I've been looking to see, but mostly I have hope.  I know that no matter what happens on the scale, the food choices and exercise makes me a healthier person.  I'm also applying for classes and will be starting school in the next few months, I'm thrilled to be going back to school!