Fighting to live another day

Sorry about the text color, but today feels like a purple day, don't know why. Anyway back to the business at hand.  Today's workout was fun!  We have the gold's gym boxing game for the wii, and I did a workout which thankfully didn't stress the leg too much, my arms are pretty sore now though! Its still a bit weird for me, mixing video games and fitness, but in reality its not much different from a fitness dvd, just a bit more of a pain in the but because you to get timing down, which in video games I've never been great at.  I guess this just means I'll be working a little harder at it which is a good thing. I like that good happy tired feeling you get from finishing a hard work out, but like most people during the process I feel like its never going to end and I just want to quit.  The game kind of distracts me from the process, it leaves the clock watching out of it because I'm busy trying to concentrate on my timing in the game, its exactly what I need distraction from.

At a gym I'm the person who covers the timer on my machine with a towel and tries to pay attention to almost anything else, seeing that clock is just dis motivating.  I can be completely engaged with what I'm doing because in the back of my head I thinking of any excuse I can give myself for not going the whole 30 mins.  having time to bargain away my work out isn't an option, I need to be fully immersed, or well distracted.  I think its why sports work so well for people, your too busy competing and trash talking your friends to realize you've spent over 40 mins running up and down the court. I can't help but think that if I'd been better at sports, I'd never ballooned up to over 300 pounds. 

I think today's workout was so much fun because it was boxing.  There's something about taking a fighting stance that gives you a feeling of being in it.  Standing there with your arms up you feel like your ready to fight your way through no matter what, and that what I need to do.  My future is at stake here, I'm not blind to that.  I've been lucky so far not to be suffering too many of the consequences of my size.  But I'm on borrowed time as it is.  I can't be this weight any longer, my life depends on it.  I've been seriously thinking about training in boxing at a real gym to get myself in shape.  Mostly I just think making this fight a real one will give me a chance at life.